Treading Water


Hello everyone. I know I dropped out of communications for a few months without any warning or explanation. To be honest, I've been fighting some pretty heavy depression but I'm beginning to work my way back.

This isn't the first time I've gone through this, and odds are it will not be my last, but I have gone through therapy for depression before and I have am familiar with the process for dealing with these emotions and I am working my process. This is actually why I dropped out of communications online, so I could focus on me for a while.

It all started in September. I have a series of disappointments which were followed by some health concerns. I've been spending a lot of time with doctors and will be seeing a neurosurgeon in January to address a few issues that have presented recently. I do not believe it will be anything too daunting but it's extremely frustrating and time consuming.

While I have been dealing with these things, P.R. has been in high demand at work and has been traveling a lot. P.R. was in,Japan for most of October, came home for a week, and then returned to Japan for the rest of November. After that, I thought we would get to spend some time together in December but something came up and P.R. had to leave the country again for another two weeks. With luck, P.R. will at the very least be able to stay in town for our fourth anniversary on the 22nd, Christmas, and New Years.

With P.R. having to be gone so much I haven't been sharing everything with P.R. that is going on with me health-wise. there is nothing P.R. would be able to do to help me while out of the country and I do not want P.R. to worry and be distracted with my health issues while at work so I have just kept most of what is going on with me to myself. In fact, there is only one person I have shared everything with. Not being able to have support here with me really does add to the feelings of isolation I have been dealing with right now.

While I've been going through all of this, the character voices that are usually constantly chattering in my head, have been silent. I miss the noise and the ideas constantly floating in the background of my own thoughts. This past week I have begun to hear whispers beginning again and ideas have started surfacing for book three and four, I still haven't had any revelations for book five but I think that will come as I work through the story.

I have no idea how fast I will be able to work through this depression and get back into the swim of things but for right now I'm doing a good job of treading water and keeping my head up. That in itself is great accomplishment. I may not be able to completely shake this until I get to see the neurosurgeon and know exactly where I stand health-wise. Whether the news is good or bad, I think I'll be in a better place once I just have all the facts. It's the not knowing that is really weighing on me. Unfortunately, I won't be able to get in until the end of January so I still have quite a while to wait and the increasing symptoms are detracting from my process.

For now, I would just like to thank you for your patience and understanding. I will do my best to keep you informed about future publications. I love writing these books and I hope you love reading them. Keep watching my blogs for more updates.

Thank you!

Stephen Burckhardt


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