Friday Funnies: Marriage Edition!
Photo of Steve and Sharon at my wedding
Today, I am taking over Friday Funnies to wish my parents a very happy 55th wedding anniversary. In honor of their anniversary (Aug. 30th), I am sharing jokes about husbands and wives and marriage. I have personally only been married 7 years (this December) and have loved being married. I can't wait to have more milestones with my husband.
Just a note, depending on events on Monday, my social media may be delayed or just stop for a few days next week. It will start up again so be patient and stick with me if things fall apart for a few days. The good news is I started formatting the new book and will finish the cover design this weekend. As soon as I make a final decision on the title and the cover photo. I think I have it all figured out but I just have to decided I'm done messing with things. that is always the hard part.
Now, on to the jokes . . .
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier in they day they had an argument and they had not spoken since.
As they passed a field with a herd of mules, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
Without missing a beat the wife answered, "Yep, in-laws."
A couple had been married for many years. One day, the wife turns to her husband and asks, "Sweetie, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?"
Her husband replies, "Why wouldn't I? I stuck with you through all the other shades."
Q: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world they have arranged marriages and sometimes the couple doesn't even know each other until they get married."
A: Son, that is true for everyone.
A man in calls his son the day before Christmas Eve and says,“I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
The son is shocked and asks, "Dad, what are you talking about?"
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” says his dad. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, call your sister and tell her for me.”
In a panic, the son calls his sister.
“They are not getting divorced if I have anything to say about this!” she yells, “I'll take care of it!”
She hangs up and immediately calls her parents, and speaks to her father.
“You are NOT getting divorced! Do not do a anything until we get there. My brother and I will both be there tomorrow. Don't do a thing until we get there!” she yells and hangs up. and The man puts his phone down and turns to his wife.
"All done! The kids are coming for Christmas and they're paying their own way."
Make love, not war. Or get married and do both!
A man approached the gorgeous woman in a large supermarket.
"I’ve lost my wife in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes to help me find her?”
The woman looked confused and asked, “How does us talking find your wife?”
“I'm not really sure how it works, but every time I talk to a gorgeous woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
A man went to the Police Station and asked to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house.
“You’ll get to have your say when this goest to court,” says the Sergeant.
“No, you misunderstand!” said the man. “I don't want to confront him, I want him to tell me how he got in my house without waking my wife. I’ve never been able to do that!”
And last but not least . . .
I know of no one who is happily married, except my husband.
Now, enjoy the first episode of The Honeymooners! Check out more full episodes on YouTube.