Friday Funnies: Thank You, Posse!


Hello, Posse!


Today is a day I set aside to give a big thank you to all of you who have been following along with my work. You will never know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. I have virtually no budget to for advertising so every reader I have gained has been through hours and hours of my own social media posting, hounding my friends and current followers to share my posts (thank you for that too!), and any interviews I can manage to secure.


It is a long slow process and part of the reason my books come out so slowly is because I have to devote so much of my time to networking, marketing, an social media. I hope I can get to a day when my followers are significant enough I can let up a bit on the marketing side and spend more time on ust actual writing.


It is all of this work that makes me extremely grateful for every one of you. As long as I write stories, I am a writer. But it really means so much more when there are other people who enjoy the stories too. I do this not just because I feel the need to write but because I want to share the stories with other people and hope that it brings them as much enjoyment as it brings me to write them.


So for today, I think jokes about writers would be in order. I hope these bring a smile to your face and lighten your heart today.


Enjoy,

Stephen


Q: Why did the lion eat the man reading a book and not the man writing in a book?

A: Because even lions know reader's digest and writers cramp.

Q: What do you get when you give a writer a short deadline?

A: A really clean house!

Q: Why did the pregnant writer start yelling, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Can't!"?

A: She was having contractions!

Q: What blood type do proofreaders have?

A: Type O, of course!

Q: A self-published author finally gets the profit from selling their first book, what do they do with the money?

A: Buy a candy bar!

Q: What kind of writing pays the best?

A: Ransom notes!

Q: What’s usually really random, often disgusting, and will most likely put you on an FBI watch list?

A: A writer’s browser history.

Q: What does it mean to be a writer?

A. Writing 4,000 words at 3AM and then not touching your book for a month.

Q: What does it mean to be a writer?

A. Actually typing 10% of your time and spending the other 90% trying to find a better way to describe buttering a piece of bread.

Q: What does it mean to be a writer?

A. Getting a great idea and writing detailed notes for book #18 in a series in which you haven't finished writing book #3 yet.

And last but not least . . .


Q: What is the difference between publishers and terrorists?

A: Terrorists are usually willing to negotiate!

Writing Advice from Neil Gaiman



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